Graduation: One Year Anniversary

If Blogspot hadn't introduced  this new Dynamic View feature, I wouldn't have looked at my older blog posts.
If I hadn't looked at my older blog posts, I wouldn't have realised that today, Oct 6 2011, marks the 1-year anniversary of my Exit Seminar.

Yes, one year ago I presented my Exit Seminar, and as far as I was concerned, that one hour of bla-bla-bla ended my Ph.D. career. From that day on, I started a new chapter, or as it turned out, new chapters.

Immediately after my exit seminar, I traveled across four States in the USA with my mom. We set eyes and feet on Grand Canyon, Columbia River Valley, Los Alamos and the Hot Air Balloon Fiesta at Albuquerque, Californian Redwood forests and the Xi Lai Temple in L.A. We filled our stomachs with cakes and pastries, salmon and chops, dimsum and what not.

I left my home away from home, and came back to my real home. Accepted a job offer, and on the third day of Chinese New Year, left for India alone. Till now, I still remember the face of that South-Asian lady who, like me, waited the whole night in Starbucks in the LCCT the night I boarded the plane for Chennai. I didn't muster the courage to talk to her, but she was definitely attractive enough that I wish I had.

Spent four weeks in Chennai and three weeks after traveling down south from Chennai. I visited the temples in Chennai, Kanchipuram, Thanjavur, Chidambaram, Madurai and Ramesvaram. I went for two bharatanatyam performances (extremely world-class) and one Kathakali play (definitely top class!). I learned Tamil intensively for four weeks, at the end of which I could speak, write and read Tamil. If the locals go slow, I could understand them too [unfortunately since I left India my Tamil has deteriorated due to lack of practice....shame shame]. At Ramesvaram a priest bathed me in one of the holy wells (there were like >20 of them I think), and there I stood at the edge of the Indian Ocean in awe of her blue-turquoise beauty. At Thanjavur I fell in love with the majestic Periyar Kovil, and at Kanchipuram the simple yet indescribably elegant Kaisalanatha Kovil took a piece of my heart and claimed it since.

I escaped the heat of the lowlands by spending day up in the cool Kodaikanal hills west of Madurai, where the richer kids of the international boarding school there led lives so different from the uncountable poorer kids in the lowlands. I learned to love the sugar-loaded fruit juices of the Indian roadside, and in the backyard of my language institute I enjoyed twenty days of lunchtime among birds with funny headcrests. I saw a salt-farm for the first time in my life, and stepped on cow dung twice. I also finally set eyes on the bronze statue of Lord Nataraja in the Government Museum of Chennai. In many hot afternoons of Tamil Nadu March, I tried my best to run calmly across the baking-hot stone floor of temples, while locals walked and chatted as if they were walking on soft green grass. In Kanchipuram, I taught children in Tamil and English, and I entertained the teachers and the students with songs. I still remember her name--Indra. I wonder if she is still doing the morning rounds bringing children from their shacks to the school?

I can't count the number of friends I made in Tamil Nadu, including Matias and Alex who accompanied me during my one week stint in Kanchipuram. I truly miss all of them. I am still waiting for Sushil to send me a picture of him, his wife and their now 6-month old son.

Came back home again and started my working life immediately. Spent two months doing nothing much else but reading papers, writing proposals and preparing for my visit to Davis.

Went back to Davis almost without telling anyone. The first night I was back in that home away from home, I met up with my very good friend Hanayo, ate at my favourite restaurant in Davis, and untied a knot in my heart for good. The following two months were surreal--busy with my research yet enjoying all the luxuries I had before..Netflix, the library, board games, Amazon.com, a great housemate. A few days before I left for the Ecological Soc. America Meeting, our experiments produced unbelievably pleasing results! Had one of my best Meetings ever, and witnessed the largest bat colony in the world at Bracken Cave. Seeing Jay and his family again was a heartwarming moment for me.

Left Davis (this time much more reluctantly than last year) before I even had time to visit San Francisco, and once again I was back home. Went back to work immediately, and had been occupied since with preparing class materials for my course. Teaching it has been a ride so far (see previous blog post) but it's really enjoyable and rewarding. The students have warmed up to my style, and are now actively asking questions and answering and discussing questions in class. More than half of them now call me by my name instead of "Dr.", for which I am glad.

My friend passed her exam with flying colours, and with that, I have nothing left to worry about in Davis anymore.

There were somethings that I planned to do since graduation, but I haven't done. I haven't enrolled in a bharatanatyam course, and I haven't offered my services to teach at an orphanage yet. I haven't yet published another paper (still in review now...WTH). I have asked three girls out, one gave face and we stayed friends, one told me she was unavailable after a few weeks, and another is still...well....pending. So, the romance front is not exactly stale, but it's not blossoming either. Don't think I can enroll in a bharatanatyam course before Jan 2012, but I am hopeful about the others working out before the end of this year.

What a year it has been!

Love me for the whole package that I am

When I was traveling in Tamil Nadu, India, my local friends in Chennai told me I was a genius.
Their argument was that I knew several languages, had a Ph.D., could take good photographs, and perhaps most importantly, I learned Tamil which many of them didn't know.
I told them I was definitely no genius, and that in many aspects, I wasn't even close to their standards. My friends were mostly artisans who made a living selling their craft, and therefore became masters in their respective arts. There was Sushil who was good with beads and necklaces, Jogi who carved wood and sculpted stone, Prakesh who won awards for his beautiful palm leaf carvings, Pramod who sew bags (you definitely couldn't tell from looking at him haha...with his beer belly and what not), etc.


I don't think I am stupid, and I certainly never thought I was smart.
I am quite a silly person, really. I did silly things, many irrational stuff, and then when it was best to be irrational, I was too rational. I am quite silly in those ways.
Whatever I was, however others choose to describe me, I have always liked myself.
No, I am not self-obsessed [though once in a blue moon I do look into the mirror and go 'ah hello handsome~'].
I just feel good about myself--my receding hairline, my aging skin, my voice with such a narrow range, my 185cm height, my feminine hand gestures when I give a speech and that I can't whistle or wink sexily.
I am very happy with myself--my easy take on life, my 'who cares?' attitude toward issues that I can't control, and my 'I would do it even if nobody else wants to' approach to many challenges.

Still, there were times when I felt as if I should, or could have been better.

I was a Ph.D. student, and my responsibility as far as my sponsors were concerned was to do good research, to make the most productive output from their financial and intellectual input. One of the most useful advice I received was this golden line: "From now on, nothing else--not your grades, not the courses you take, not the diplomas--matters anymore, only the quality and quantity of your publication. Publication is your currency as a grad student and as a researcher."

So for quite sometime, I judged myself in that light. How many publications could I churn from my Ph.D.? How good were they? Good enough for Science, Ecology Letters or Ecology?

In my department, there was no lack of outstanding graduate students based on publication and quality of research. Stretch out a weenie bit to include the Ecology and Evolution group, the CPB group and the Animal Behaviour group, and WTH~~~!! Everywhere I turned, there was one grad student who was more than qualified to don the crown of "Genius".

For me, there were surely many moments of guilt. When I left the building eager for two hours of badminton, I saw my colleagues working. When I was watching Netflix on my bed, I imagined my colleagues ploughing through their data and doing crazy meta-analysis. When I was enjoying a book on "Tigers in India" in the library, my colleagues were sweating in the field gathering data.

By the time I published my first paper, one of my cohort members had already published two with more in prep/in review. And I wasn't slow by any standards, just slow by theirs! Hahahaha.

My supervisor never once nudged me to work harder, never once told me that I could do more. He seemed to know how I worked, that I myself knew what was in store for myself, and for that I was very grateful. Even though he never questioned my work ethics, I myself did. I wondered then, just as I had wondered more than once since I returned here, "Could I have done more and better research? Was I slacking? Was I not good enough?"

*********Intermission***************

The answer to my questions was a definite YES.

Of course I could have improved on my research. I could have dedicated more time to it, and easily churned out at least two more papers (no kidding). It was all in my mind, I could vision it. In that sense, I was slacking because I wasn't doing the best I can to be a 'productive and good' grad student.

And following the same train of thought, I came to the same conclusion every time. Then, and now.
I am what I am.
I am not one who is motivated by channeling all his effort into studies/research, and not even into teaching which is easily my first and foremost love.
I like to do many things at once, and I find no waste in not pursuing any of them to their ends.
I am certainly not the best researcher out there, and I never aimed to be, if only because it requires too much sacrifice of other wonderful things in life.
I like to think that I am a good teacher, but I will never be the best, because of the same reason above.
I am however, without doubt, certainly and surely, the best me you can find out there.
I am one whole package which cannot be taken apart and assessed individually.
If you are going to judge me, you better take me as a whole, else you would just be wasting your time.
[though most would be content just to admire my looks]

A while ago I wrote the piece below:
你说  你爱我
没有我 你不知怎么活
我说  我也爱你
只有你  我一切都给你
可是  告诉我
你爱我
是爱我的一切
还是一些？
关了灯， 另一些不在了吗？
一切，  是现在的一切
或是五年后的一切？

Most might think it was inspired by a love relationship. Well, it was, partially, but even more so by my thoughts when I compared my life to those of my colleagues.


Sometimes we are envious of others, though we have so much that others envy us in return.
Sometimes we are ashamed of ourselves, though we are so beautiful to many others.
During those times, we ought to slap ourselves across the face (HARD), and appreciate ourselves for the ugly short man that we are.
Oops, I meant myself.


I miss my Rajastani friend, Sushil. I hope he is in good health, and that he's enjoying time with his wife and son. I remember the first time I walked to his stall where he sold his craft, days after I had befriended the other artisans. He looked at me and said "This is the first time you come to my shop and talk to me." I didn't know why, and I still don't, but I felt so much sincerity in his voice, that this guy was just waiting in silence for me to talk to him. I liked him immediately, and we had many many more wonderful chats after that.

There and back again

 

I am back in the place that changed my life. 

A wonderful place.

More than once I had asked myself if it was the weather, the trees, the tranquility of the place that was somehow dynamic and vibrant, or was it just the people?

Yet the answer matters not, for one way or another, it doesn't change the fact that I really love this place and all that it entails.

It is now getting warm here, and soon my fieldwork will bring subject me to conditions drier and hotter than those in Malaysia. Others might complain, but not me. There is much to be enjoyed in this place, and the searing heat of a wide-open cotton field in summer is itself a valid entry on the list.

I am very glad to have made it in time to attend my friends' commencement. I skipped mine, giving little appreciation to the hardwork invested in my undergraduate education. Back then, I'd rather return to Malaysia earlier with my mom. I was happy for my friends though. They certainly tossed their hats into the air with much more enthusiasm than I did during my Ph.D. graduation! Congratz to them. Now please contribute to better our country!

A friend who did her Ph.D. commencement told me before the event that she felt normal. She was worried because she wasn't excited. I told her that I was like that too--too many affairs to deal with leading up to the commencement that one really had no time to be excited--but during the commencement, she would pick up the emotions. And she did. Sitting in the hall among a couple hundreds of graduating graduate students, many of whom invested much more time and energy than us did, it's difficult not to be moved by their tears and disbelief painted across their faces. I remember that a woman who sat two rows in front of me broke down and cried, needing her professor who was sitting beside her to calm her down. More powerful than Oprah, I guess, as I haven't watched Oprah before.

My first few days back here were surreal. Walking on the same streets that I thought I wouldn't see again for some time, eating at the same restaurants where I had several of my 'last' conversations with dear friends, and being back in the same lab that I left hurriedly just half a year ago. That moment standing at the junction of Sycamore Lane and Russell Blvd, waiting for that familiar traffic light to turn into the much-missed green bicycle, that moment was utterly unreal. I felt as if I shouldn't have been there, but I was there.

Within a few days of my unexpected return, and particularly after I ran my fingers along the shelves of the university library and walked across town alone at night, I seriously asked myself why I left in the first place. This place is undeniably more comfortable than back home (but not home itself of course), and professionally speaking, this place is Mecca for my field/industry. 

Rationally, my decision to leave was a foolish one, especially since I had a job offer for two more years here. Personally, I knew that that it couldn't have been otherwise. If I had not left, if I had stayed on for two more years, I doubt that I would still have the will to leave. McGill University was an excellent school too, and Montreal was beautiful--crude and elegant, just the way I like it--but I left because I didn't want to risk my roots growing so deep that it hurts to unroot them. My family, and all my very beloved friends back home, they played a huge role in luring me back. To jest and curse in a slang known only to my highschool friends is definitely every bit as priceless as the independence and freedom I can find here. However, there is something more, something bigger, something more ambitious, something that I must do.

The thing is, UC Davis wasn't always as great as it is now. It took many people and at least two-three generations to build UCD and Davis to be what they are today. Heck, UCD is even older than my country. If every Davisian had left Davis to carve a niche in Oxford or Harvard, we wouldn't have the UCD which we are all so proud of today.

Thus, the least I can do is to try. To try to pave the road to a future UCD in my country, to build an institution better than UCD in my country. I cannot just give up the idea without trying, can I? Well of course I can, but that wouldn't be me. 

I am very happy to be back here.

I am also very glad that I left here.

March 20, 2011: Tamil Nadu trip, in Kanchipuram

Notes added while typing this are indicated in [...]. Otherwise the rest is copied directly as is from my travel journal.

********************************]

March 20, 2011. 10.38pm.

Last night of my stay in Kanchipuram [I stayed a week in Kanchipuram volunteering for a local NGO]. Tmr morning I head off to C.M.B.T. of Chennai [CMBT stands for Central Mofussil Bus Terminus, the largest in Asia. Don't expect much though] by bus and from there catch a 1pm A/C bus to Chidambaram. I've enjoyed my time here in Kanchipuram, particularly so because my teaching in rural schools and my two German friends here. I got along really nicely with them, and Mathias is a really nice boy w/o the usual antics you would expect a kid from a developed country might have. Today he cleaned the room so thoroughly I was impressed [and embarrassed too].

Last Wednesday I went for a Kaittaikuttu performance of the local Kanchipuram Kaittaikuttu Sangam. The actual show was performed by another group, not the local Kanchi troupe [the local troupe was apparently very famous, they performed on Tuesday]. I knew of this academy before I came, it being one of the places I'd like to visit. So happen that this week they are holding a 'kuttu' (drama) festival and seminar--shows 8pm and 10pm daily. It was still out of the way w/o buses, luckily Alex was interested & got her friend's husband who's an autorickshaw driver to do our driving [even the driver thought we were lost! luckily we didn't decide to walk hahahaa]. The performance was really nice, though I only understood little of the Tamil dialouge [but I could catch many words, just couldn't catch the sentences!].

that was a guy.

I found the character 2nd from the right very cute!!

The costumes were very decorated with huge headsets & skirts. All male actors, even for female roles. There was a lot of singing, vocalization, duet dialouges.

The character on the right was Rama. First time I saw a greenish Rama~

 Interestingly, a 'clown' existed throughout the play and seemed to serve a peculiar role of threading the plot along as characters conversed with him, and also a comedian role by doing funny physical stunts that were not only unrelated to the plot but very distracting too [the children loved it though]. The 4th wall was broken w/o hesitation.

this was at the beginning when they sang a series of verses. The guy sitting behind the purple stand sang for 2 hours straight...unbelievable.

  Monolouges were almost all sung.  Actors also served as musicans and would join the band on center stage to do some instruments or sing the lines.

Check out the hands of the actors at the back =)

They would blatantly drink tea on stage [the director of the academy actually went on stage and served them tea at the back. So nice] & wear modern tshirts--totally out of sync with the play. Thus I think this form of performance--at least the one I enjoyed--was very less formal than bharatanatyam, required less effort to appreciate, and is much more flexible than many old, classical formal arts [Kaittaikuttu is centuries old itself and has been a continuous evolution].

It was a village style performance, a once common fare in South and Southeast Asia.  Performances used to draw huge audiences from the surrounding villages and last eight hours through the night. Now we urban kids never see such things no more. Oh yes, we have the cinema and LotR's 3 hours were a pain in the butt (literally).

I also went to two temples this past week, but I shall leave them for tmr night's writing., since I don't expect to have much to write about the trip to Chidambaram.


10.54pm.

entries from my Tamil Nadu trip: Day 1-9 Feb 2011

I wanted to write about my Tamil Nadu trip in detail here but alas, I lack the motivation. Instead, I will copy word for word entries from my travel journal onto here. I won't do every day, since some entries are kind of private or contain sensitive issues pertaining to other people. Today I start with...the first day of my trip in Tamil Nadu, Feb 9, 2011.

************************************************

9 Feb 8.30pm (Wed)
I've finally arrived in Chennai, checked into DakshinaChitra & finalized courses arrangement at Institute of Asian Studies. Now I'm sitting in my room in D.C., writing my entry, trying to wind down after a somewhat chaotic day.

Touching down at Chennai International Airport, I bought a ticket for Muttukadu, Rs. 590. Cheaper than I thought. Walked out, one guy tried to take me to his taxi before the rest. He looked fishy, and so I glanced around. The other drivers got mad & a quarrel ensued. In the end, I was asked to follow the 'proper' guy.

The vehicle was so old & run down, the only thing that seemed decent was the seats. My driver was a young man who sported a bushy moustache. Soon I will realize that almost every one of thse tAmi Nadu guys have a moustache. It must be THEIR thing! He had a statue of Mother Mary, Ganesh and 笑佛 on his dashboard. The hood of his bonnet adorned a narrow shilef/plate. The car looked like it could break down anytime, but it didn't. In fact, after seeing the way he drove his car, I came to believe that his car must be in a very reliable condition. Else where had he the courage to change lanes w/o checking, slip betw. cars like a bike, gives a new dimension to the term 'bumper to bumper', if he wasn't 100% sure of his car performing on par? They love to sound their horns, almost every 3 sec as if worried if the horn failed the zillion times before. Some cars even have 'Sound your horn' written on their back!

Wow, I'm so tired. Guess I will write more tmr.

8.45pm.

****************************************************

funny pics

I have been feeling a bit down these days, so here's two shots from my family's recent trip to Sitiawan,Pangkor Island and Teluk Intan to cheer myself up. Perhaps you find it funny too?

my sister pointed this out to me when we stopped at Bagann Dato jeti. There was nobody manning the stall, but the stall was in safe hands. Look at that row of sentinels!! If there's one thing you can't complain about these burgers is the lack of kicap!

No play play. Catering to everyone from children to elephants. Truly a place to get a peace of mind.  This was in Teluk Intan.

like river to sea

I know some of you are anxious to read about my Tamil Nadu trip. I have been posting some pictures on my Facebook page. I plan to post fewer pictures but more in-depth account of my trip here. You will have to be patient though.

Then again, you guys who read my blog only come here when you get updates...so I know you can be patient.

In the meanwhile, here's a short piece I wrote in my office on my first day of work.

*********
you laugh
you look away
   like a young girl
   from an old man recounting his youth
   but it's true
   how I think of her all the time
      like a river from the peaks
      ever flow to the indifferent sea
   so do my mind and heart
     ever share one common destination.

**********

Lord Siva and his consort, Parvati.
Carving on the 7th century Kailasanatha Temple, Kanchipuram.
The Kailasanatha Temple was one of the most beautiful temples I have visited. Simple, but just incredibly elegant.

a quick hot one

okay, a really quick one. I have about 8 minutes left before my one hour at the Internet cafe is up.


It's almost April now and it's getting really hot. April and May are the summer months in India, when tourism is at its slowest too. Since mid 12 March I have left Chennai and moved inland towards Chidambaram, Kanchipuram, Thanjavur and now Madurai. Without the buffering effect of the ocean, it's only drier and hotter.

I travel in the morning until 1pm, by which time it's too hot from both ends--top and below. The sun is scorching my hair and skin, making me darker than ever before. From below, the stone slabs of the temples are hot enough to cook eggs on with enough heat left to warm up a glass of milk. I have no idea how the Indians can walk so casually and calmly across the stones, chatting happily on their cells, while I strained to keep a straight face as I deftly danced my feet across the stones. Naked feet and baking stones don't make a good combination.

Between 1pm and 5pm I stay in the hotel room, reading/writing/watching TV/sleeping. Very often I throw a few scoops of water over myself for the cooling...only to find that I have switched on the heater by mistake. Darn. Eh wait, no there's no heater...the rooms were like RM10 or RM20/night...no heater. Not the electrical one at least. The water from the tank was heated up by the sun so much that by 5pm, the water from the tap's still warm...

okay, time's up. have fun all.

Today I completed my Bharatanatyam 'pilgrimage' in Tamil Nadu. This 'pilgrimage' played a big part in my coming to Tamil Nadu.

I learned Bharatanatyam when I was in California. Heck I even did a lousy performance because I have a very bad grasp on beats and rhythm, and bharatanatyam is a lot about keeping to the beat even as the background music goes off-beat. Nonetheless, I enjoyed it tremendously and perhaps one day I will realise my dream of actually becoming a bharatanatyam dancer (of some sort hahaha).

So what is my bharatanatyam 'pilgrimage'? It's a customized tour package :), since there was no such thing to begin with. I traced my memories and knowledge of bharatanatyam to come up with a list of places to visit/things to do to pay homage to my love for bharatanatyam. They are
1. Visit the Kalakshetra Academy in Thiruvanmiyur, Chennai; see them practice
2. Visit the Nataraja bronze statue in the Govt Museum, Chennai
3. Visit the Nataraja Temple in Chidambaram

My good fortune continues as in the 2nd week I got to Chennai, Kalakshetra Academy held a one week-long dance performance in memory of their founder, Rukmini Devi, the legendary bharatanatyam dancer. I went for two of the performances and they were awesome. Not sure if I wrote about them earlier on. One of those evenings I almost couldn't get home because it got so late there were no buses anymore!

I wrote about my visiting the Nataraja bronze statue in an earlier post.

And now I am in Chidambaram, staying in a cheap (Rs 200/night) hotel room that has a small TV with 50+ channels, and I have visited the Nataraja Temple! My hotel is just outside the south gopuram of the temple, so I just left my shoes in the room and walked straight into the temple.

The temple is huge with large open spaces between shrines. I will most likely write more later once I get back home (Msia) and can upload pictures. Suffice to say that the shrines were all stone and beautifully sculptured. Every pillar tells a story it seems! Look up to the ceiling and it's either painted mural or ancient writing in Pali. Look down and ...phew~ mostly bare stone. Hahaha. I found the central shrine for Nataraja and the western shrine for Parvati (it was written Sri Sivagami Amman Temple, I believe it's for Parvati, Lord Shiva's consort) most amazing. Oh yes, there was the large water tank, the Sivanaga Tank (could have the name wrong here from memory) around which I sat for an hour just enjoying the shade and the sights of devotees washing and praying in the water, of kids playing in the water, and of foreign French-speaking (truly most of them I have seen were speaking French) tourists snapping pictures.

It's 2.35pm now and it's freaking hot. The bare stones are like sizzling iron plates and I can't walk on them so I won't visit the temple until later this evening when they do the evening pooja (prayer). So now I know what pooja means...so many Bollywood movie female leads are called Pooja hahaha.

Time to get that cold, sugar-loaded fruit juice and return to my HBO in my room~ heck I watched The Rock and Final Destination last night...so lame haha.

~5 weeks gone in Tamil Nadu!

This week passed by SO FAST.
No kidding.
I called my mom this morning and she was like "eh, so fast finished your volunteering already? One week liao?"

I spent the past five days volunteering in Kanchipuram for an institution I shall not named just yet. My mornings were spent in the school teaching young children aged 5-8, while my afternoons were dedicated to securing more funding options for the institution. Both tasks were important, though I certainly enjoyed the mornings more because teaching is my first love~ wooh~.

I can't believe I was already teaching Tamil alphabets, albeit only to young children who had no prior education. Tamil alphabets are now a breeze for me, though if you are picky, my pronunciation isn't perfect of course. Nowhere near perfect.
I also taught English and Mathematics, and there I used my newly learned Tamil vocabulary to...
great
effect.

Great effect in entertaining the teachers who stood by and tried hard to suppress their laughter as I went about muttering Tamil words as I tried to explain to the kids what I was saying in English. It was always
"Inga paar. Enga yelli? Where is the mouse?"
"Road mil yelli. The mouse is ON the road"
or
"Tamil-ler 'kaangal', English-ler yeppedi sollu? English-ler 'eyes'."
My Tamil teachers would be proud of me, heck yeah!

Today I had to teach continuously for 2 hours (what the heck...truly tested my creativity and endurance teaching in that heat to a group of yawning students who understood only 15% what what I was saying). In the end I had to sing to keep reinvigorate them. Taught them Rasa Sayang which I thought was easy enough, but either I remained to fail as a music teacher or they refused to memorize Malay words. Funny though that the teacher who was sitting aside learned the song really quick and could sing it well!

Oh darn, got to ciao to a temple now. Will write later...actually, probably will only write a few days later when I am at my next destination.

All the best wishes possible to all quarters of the world now.

Kanchipuram

Just a quick note to inform you all that I have arrived safely in my next destination --Kanchipuram. Will be volunteering with an NGO here for a week.

The trip from Muttukadu to Kanchipuram was kinda nice. The bus ride from Mamallapuram to Chengalpattu took me through rice fields and some real Indian villages! There is hardly a more beautiful scene than that of a wet, lush padi field with buffaloes and coconut trees in the mix, with mountains in the far back. The bus station at Chengalpattu was very busy and everyone rushed to get on the bus when it arrived. Me too! I had to...by now I knew that if I hadn't rushed to intercept the bus BEFORE it reaches the terminus, I would stand no chance of getting on the bus. Lagi more I had my big backpack with me~~. Got on the bus and already no seat. So packed...haha...the person on the seat next to where I was standing slept and his head rested on my tummy. It was no problem, except that his head was warm, and the day was already warm enough. Hahahaha.

The accommodation here is better than expected. My dormmates are two Germans (both at a young age of 20) who are doing their obligatory social service of one year (it was the policy in Germany, abolished just recently). Mathias, the guy, is very friendly and we are getting along very well so far. We talked a lot, probably because we both lacked talking-partners for the past weeks (months for him).

Tomorrow I begin my actual volunteering work. No idea what's in store. Maybe teaching. Hopefully teaching.

Mathia and Alex (the girl) have internet access. It's going to be tempting to use their internet too...BUT I will stay off the Net.

This is written in a Kanchipuram cybercafe as I wait for Mathias to buy tickets for his parents to visit India. Kanchipuram is much more developed and richer than I expected. Even this cyber cafe is the best I have visited so far in India, and the rates are very reasonable--20 rupees/hour.

take care all.

I have completed 3 weeks of Tamil class. So far so good. This coming week is my last, and on March 13 I will leave Chennai to continue my journey southward.

2 of my good friends here have left last week. Though we only knew each other for 2 weeks, and our communication consisted more of body language, common sense than actual verbal language, it was a sad parting for me. Neither of them spoke Tamil (one was from Kerala, the other from Orissa), and English was limited. They both left on the same day, Tuesday, and I applied for absence from class just to spend more time with them. In the morning Ajith sat down with for an extended time during breakfast as we talked about his upcoming exam in Kerala and his ambitions. The night before I had dinner with Pramod. He talked less after his elder brother came to D.C., wonder why. I got a call from Pramod on Wednesday afternoon telling me that he has arrived in Orissa. He began with his usual question "What are you doing there?" though he seldom understood my answer hahaha.

my brothers in Chennai. You can easily tell who are north Indians and who are south Indians based on moustache :)

Sanjay was supposed to leave today too, but his friend couldn't come to replace him at his stall so he is forced to stay on until end of March. As a result, he will miss his best friend's wedding in Orissa (I have a group of Orissa friends here!). I told him that's disappointing, but I have been through many such experiences, having spent 8 years overseas.

I have trouble forgetting and letting go. Even these guys whom I have met only for two weeks--I miss them. Last night ChinJiat called me and it's not exaggerated to say that talking to her gave colours to the four white-washed walls of my room.

Here, every night and day, I have quite some free time, particularly at night when my friends have gone home and I am alone in my adobe. The occassional bat gives me something to do by having to lure him outdoors, otherwise I stare at four walls and .......think. Thinking too much for my own good. I began to remember things that I thought I have forgotten, I began to imagine, to conjure up dreams only to stop short of the walls and be reminded of the oft cruel reality.

Solitude can be a scary thing, especially for someone like me.
Yet I have always enjoyed a certain degree of loneliness. Being alone has its merits. I wrote quite a good number of poems, short stories, essays and even a skit! Some of them were played out in my mind under the tree where I have my lunch every weekday during class break. Many more were born as my mind try to lock out the incessant horns of Chennai (India) traffic.

Today I went to the Government Museum in Chennai. Took me two hours to get there...changing buses, walking around, overshooting it then turning back etc. If I had gone straight to it, it would have taken 1hour 30 minutes I think. Yet as a tourist in a new place, even getting lost is fun because EVERYTHING is new.
My main reason for going to the Govt. Museum is to see the world-famous Nataraja bronze statue. I first learned of this statue in high school history (ChongHwa's history subject is just awesome), and have loved it ever since. My involvement with bharatanatyam grew from this high school fascination also. Today I finally completed this pilgrimage of mine, and I must say it was worth every effort of my getting here.

Having seen this, the rest of the bronze exhibition seemed worthless to my layman eyes.

There are many things that I can say, but I am in no mood to write a post. Let's end with a happy note?
This afternoon after the museum visit I went for lunch at Masthya, a famous veg. restaurant in Chennai. Family-run, several generations already. THE FOOD WAS AWESOME! So awesome that I had to suppress my urge to order more and more and more....I will try to come again tomorrow, though that means it will take me another 1.5 hours to get to lunch hahahaha....

10 days now

Since I first logged onto the internet years ago, this is the first time I have gone one whole week without tapping into the Net.

In fact, I haven't even touched a computer for 7 days.

This is simply unbelievable, for me at least. I am progressing well on my no-internet therapy. And you know what? I don't think I have missed much.

Nor was I missed, I think. In this world now, everything happens so fast, so many things changing that everyone seems insignificant in reflection. Perhaps only one or two persons would really notice your absence!

My classes are progressing excellently. My teachers are pros and friendly. They think that I am picking up quickly and so they pressed me quite hard, forcing me to listen to their fast speech. People here speak a zillion languages, and when I try to pick up words on the street, I really couldn't tell if it was because I sucked at listening Tamil or just because they were speaking in Telugu, Hindi, Malayalam etc.

I have made quite many friends here at Dakshin Chitra where I am staying and at the Institute of Asian Studies where I am studying. Even at Kovalam, where I change buses every weekday, I have made friends...those few guys that helped me out with directions the first time I got into Kovalam, well now they see me every weekday and we chat briefly if time allows.

Every meal at DakshinChitra is something to look forward to, as I will be chatting with Ajith (the waiter) and Ratamani (the chef). They told me their stories, their aspirations, their struggles. I taught them Mandarin and even some French (what I can remember of course, and very imperfect).

Every weekday is also exciting, as I will be learning new words and classes are really very friendly. I buy my cookies (lunch) from the grocery store on my way walking into IAS, and the storekeeper was always eager to give me Tamil practice :). Naagu and Rani (who I find very pretty!) who takes care of the guesthouses also talk to me in Tamil whenever they catch me hahaha.

Today I read some poems from classical Tamil texts, translation of course. Simply breathtaking. Their love poems are really so...good!

During my free time here, I read my Song Ci and English poems that I brought with me. In IAS, during breaks, I hungrily read up on Tamil literature and Hinduism.

This Tuesday I have taken a day's holiday from IAS. Why? Because I will be bringing Ratamani and the Sanjay gang (see pic below) out for bowling and maybe cinema at Mayajaal, the entertainment center just minutes away from DakshinChitra. Looking forward to it!

Apna keyal rakhana (take care in Hindi).

Everyone gets so close during such times :)

Fort Museum at St.George Fort, Chennai. I once promised a friend that I would take dancing pictures of myself for this friend wherever I travel. Well, I hope a picture of my dog in place of me would suffice. If this friend is reading this, know that I miss you and I wish you all the best.

Lady making flower garlands in bus. After stealing snaps of her, I told her I was taking pics of her and she sportingly said ok and smiled at my camera. Of course with her looking at me I got nervous and the subsequent pics weren't as good as this one. I spent at least 5 minutes trying to figure out how she tied the knots but I failed.

from left: Pramod, Jogi, Sanjay. These guys are handicraft vendors in D.Chitra selling works from their villages. All the vendors at D.C. are my friends, but I am particularly close to these guys. They are all from Orissa and speak no Tamil, so I pick up some Ordio (spelling?) from them. They invited me to join them for a fruit juice session at Kanathur, just minutes away from D.C.. That was my virgin roadside stall meal experience in India, and luckily I had no stomaches. The fruit juice selection was broad and juice was good. After that I even joined them for their grocery shopping, including a visit to the chicken slaughterhouse haha. Oh yeah, these guys excitedly bought me Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate...haha...macam small boys je.

first five days in Chennai

Just to let you guys know that I am doing great in Chennai.

Let me try to summarize my five day experience in a few lines:

1. People here are very friendly, though they may be in poverty condition.
2. Traffic is unbelievable. KL/Melaka/Penang driving is heavenly compared to here, though I have yet to experience major jams here. Cows, goats, people, bikes, motorbikes, cars, rickshaws, buses, trucks all fight for space on the narrowest roads.
3. Weather's very dry and sunny. Doesn't feel hot though it should be. Extremely dusty.
4. My Tamil is progressing nicely. Even picking up Hindi and Malayalam from my friends here.
5. Visited my first temple in Chennai today. Their devotion is quite touching.
6. Still haven't tried food from roadside stalls yet...scared of diarrhea!
7. I haven't seen so many pretty girls in a city since I left Montreal. Going back to KL would be a major downgrade in this department HAHAHAHAHA.

Took many pictures, but won't be uploading any until I return to Malaysia or I get faster connection.
take care all.

Happy Valentine's Day. I will try to make it somewhat fun here in Chennai.

Traveling in Taiwan: Nov 3-4, QingJingNongChang 清境农场 & TaiZhong city 台中市

 For three days (Nov 3-5), we (mom, my sister, her friend, and me) left Taipei city and spent our time in the TaiZhong area. For the first night, we stayed in QingJingNongChang, a recreational area in highlands of Central Taiwan.

At first I imagined our QingJingNongChang trip to be a 'farm-visit' trip since "NongChang" means "farm". Yet that wasn't the case. Although there were many farms in the area, the main tourism attractions were scenic spots overlooking mountains and valleys, and a meadow called QingQingCaoYuan青青草原where sheep graze.

And of course...we didn't even go into the QingQingCaoYuan part because mom and I didn't want to. Hahaha. It was already 30 minutes before they closed for the day, and so we decided to take the other trails, called GuanShan Trail 观山步道 and BuBuGaoSheng Trail 步步高升步道.

Along GuanShan Trail, there were meadows for sheep grazing but the sheep have retired for the day. There were also other spots for picture taking, including a blue windmill....

Mom and I weren't too interested in these, particularly since we interacted with alpacas in Portland, so we finished the trail relatively quickly. The only thing that garnered attention were the random piles of sheep dung (I think sheep) on the path :).

Wooden horses. I thought they looked kind of cute.

On the BuBuGaoSheng Trail:

Almost sunset. The mountainous trait of Taiwan is something that I haven't experienced before and something which I like very much. There are mountains after mountains, all shrouded in fog and clouds. I really like the different shades of blue on the mountains as they spread away.

499 steps. The trail is called BuBuGaoSheng, literally 'rising with every step'. Know why? =)

The best catch of the day for me, a whole horde of Nephila maculata spiders. Here's some info on them off the Internet . These spiders are found throughout Asia, though this is the first time I have seen one. Shame on me. According to the board next to the trail, these spiders are the largest found in Taiwan. The website linked above said that these spiders make very strong and sticky web that can even stop birds in mid-flight! Mom were brave enough to find more for me in the bushes, though we both had to move cautiously to avoid destroying the spiders' web.

 Look at them!


On the morning of Nov 4, we woke up around 4am to join a guided tour to Mt. HeHuan. The original itinerary included star-gazing, sunrise and various scenic spots between QingJingNongChang and Mt.HeHuan. Unfortunately, it was very cloudy with drizzling rain so we couldn't see the stars. Fortunately however, we drove all the way up to ~3200 meter above sea level, rose above the clouds and thus we were able to witness sunrise.

Mom was all wrapped up! The guide provided jackets for everyone, so mom had 3 layers of jacket on. Behind her you see the sign for Mt. HeHuan and the 3158 meters above sea level.

On the way down from Mt.HeHuan back to QingJingNongChang, we stopped at several scenic spots.

I forgot the name of this tree species, but it's some sort of pine. The guide said that these trees are older than 1600 years!

Here you see the mountains, the clouds, and the people.


We left QingJingNongChang around 10am and headed towards TaiZhong. On the way, we stopped at ZhongTaiChan Temple 中台禅寺。 I can only say it's HUGE. We spent most of our time there in the art exhibition that showcased Buddhism carvings and drawings. There was a special exhibition of Chinese calligraphy inscribed onto stone 石碑文。 I really liked the exhibition because the Buddhism art was very beautiful, and the calligraphy was just as awesome. Lots of history learned too.

Yeah, it's HUGE.


We reached TaiZhong sometime in the evening and stayed at a hotel just next to FengJia University and FengJia Night Market, apparently the largest in Taiwan.

The sign for the "Taiwan FengJia Night Market".

Night markets are certainly a major tourist attraction of Taiwan, and it is also a significant part of Taiwanese culture I think. Night markets are bustling with all sorts of commercial activities, with vendors selling everything from snacks to clothes to electronics to Chinese herbs. I was too full from dinner that night otherwise I would have bought some of those mouth-watering snacks too!

Hey all, sorry for the prolonged absence. I have finally left the US and am now in Taipei, Taiwan. My mom and I are residing with my sister until Nov 10 before leaving for KL.

Have been busy since Oct 27 with packing, saying farewells, packing, and packing. Now in Taipei, walking around the streets of Taipei, trying out deliciously-looking food (they seem to be everywhere!!), and trying to get some rest have been occupying most of my time. Today we will be off to Taizhong area for 3 days, and I won't bring my laptop with me.

It will be good to live without internet for a few days...

In the meanwhile, I am posting some pics of Taipei here for you. Details will follow later....