Somethings I learned, that need no pictures :)

Some cultures or religions don't allow dating per se. The two individuals involved can do very little personal pre-marriage assessment of the significant other.

Although my world isn't as stringent, it's similar in some sense. For one, I cannot, just cannot, engage in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship if I don't already see a life-long relationship between us. In other words, in my tiny mind, girlfriend = wife. I am not that naive to think that everything will work out great from the first date we actually marry (and onwards). On the contrary, my realistic self expects all sorts of trouble and conflicts from Day One (i.e., I have never, and never expected to, experienced a 'honeymoon period') that my idealistic and determined self is prepared to overcome and accept. The perseverance grows from my belief that these feelings, if not this relationship, will last till I die, technically forever.

And so it follows that I have not thought of a 'second girlfriend'. There would only be One, and if that One can't work, the rest is just as likely to fail. Every possible combination of couple has conflicts--there is no the Right One that is waiting for me. Anyone I meet can be my Right One, just a matter of whether we both share the same goal for our relationship. I am not eager to give up one relationship due to incompatibilities simply because all my other subsequent relationships will have issues too. There's no end to these conflicting relationships. The end comes only when I believe in it and stick through it.

I had believed that Love is the most essential ingredient. If there is Love and it is potent, then mountains will break and oceans will part just for you. I also believed that Love grows the more you know somebody, never diminishes.

Yet, despite all my positive outlook, my first relationship ended.

I am one who bare myself naked before my loved ones--my bad, my good, my past and current, nothing's to be hidden. In this world, this attitude may bring me much heartache and disappointment. Fortunately, I have learned something very very valuable from the terrible ending of my first relationship:
-Don't expect anything. Don't even expect understanding and appreciation from those whom you have lived for. People all turn selfish at one point or another, and I better be ready for the change with a mind and heart of smiles. Every slap to the face that I returned with a smile, I become a better person.

Another thing I learned:
-It's possible to like someone more when you see that person crying over someone else. It's possible to want their relationship to work so that that person can be happy, albeit not with you.

Another thing I learned:
- Compassion wins over selfish love. Selfish love is love with expected returns. Compassion is loving without discrimination, giving without receiving. Along the same vein, I've learned that it's better for me to spend 1 hour loving a class of 15 than to spend 15 hours loving one person.

I am not claiming to live by these lessons now. I am aiming to live by what I have just learned above. I hope you guys (most of you who read my blog knows me very well) gain something from my lessons too.