Two--all of it was just a lie

 Crystals, or just ice. Cold. Gone in moments.

To anybody coming up, either in terms of age or experience, those who had already walked far often say the following: "Don't lose sight of your target. Work for it, and in the end you will get it!" , or slightly more realistically "Work for it, and even if you don't get it in the end, you will have no regrets. It's the journey that matters most!".

I have said the same to many others, and I myself have lived by it.
Now, as that which I have worked so hard for over years taken from me so suddenly and in so cold a manner, I began to doubt the sense of it all. This deep, endless dread which I have to battle every morning, which haunts me throughout the day and pricks my mind even as I try to sleep--this heavy heavy weight I cannot throw aside, makes me doubt if the journey is really what matters most, and if I can live without regrets.

I wonder, if it's all just a big big lie.
A lie that everyone knows but acts as if it's not there.
A lie that's more obvious than an elephant in a room because it's written on everybody's face.
A lie that's been around since our first desire.

In the end, it's not the journey that matters?
It's this second, this very current moment that matters.
I am in pain, and there's nothing I have done in the past that can alleviate the hurt;
I am happy, and nothing in the future can take this joy from me now;
I am lost, and there is no light at all.