500 Days of Summer

I just watched this movie on a DVD.

I am glad that I didn't watch it in the cinema when it was released last year because I don't think I would have felt the impact that I am feeling now.

I won't spoil it for those who haven't watched it yet. If you haven't watched it, then don't do so until you have experienced heartache from a break up (especially if it's bad break up like mine)...but of course I hope you never will experience it. If you haven't watched it, then you can skip this post :).  If you have watched it, then let me share somethings from the movie that struck me hard.


In one scene, a guy was narrating about his girlfriend for many years, Robin.
(paraphrase)
"Ideally, she should be more into sports, she would have a better figure,..(list),...that is the girl of my dreams." 
"But Robin...Robin's better. Robin's better than the girl of my dreams."
"Robin is real."
This is so true! Everyone has some images of the person he would love to be with, to cherish and be loved by. That isn't reality though, and in contrast to what the uninitiated would think, reality is actually nicer. Why? I can't answer for you, but my answer for myself is simple. If I really do meet the girl of my dreams, she won't want me. In fact, she will be so perfect that I will be unnecessary. Reality however, will give me someone who will love me, who will need me--somebody whom I will need too.

Tom (the lead) writes greeting cards. One of my favourite lines of his is "I love us." Every relationship is a common project involving both parties, us. It's saddest when one party abandons the project, but when both parties are working on it, there's no more rewarding project ever.

Talking about abandoning projects...Tom was totally devastated when Summer, the girl he was totally enamored with, abandoned their relationship. He couldn't understand it. He spent months reliving their happy moments together, trying to piece together what actually went wrong. Watching him in that state was akin to watching myself on the screen. In fact, Summer was very much like the girl who threw me off my balance too.

After they broke up, he was trying hard to let go of her but was failing utterly (so familiar~). Then suddenly he met her on a train to a mutual friend's wedding party. She invited him for coffee. He was at first reluctant, but went ahead. From the coffee to their dance at the wedding party, Tom was smiling and being happy for the first time since the break up, even though he was with the girl who made him sad in the first place. Weird, isn't it? That it's the same person who grieves you and makes you happy. This is also too familiar to me.

Summer then invited Tom over to her party over the weekend. Tom was once again in high spirits, has his expectations up. Too bad, reality crashed in bad on him. The party turned out pretty cold for him, and he saw a wedding ring on Summer's finger. His life went from bad to worse there.
Expectations totally out of sync with reality---another familiar experience.

During this, Tom's teenage but awfully wise sister dropped him the following line:
(paraphrase)
"Tom, I know how you have been thinking that Summer's The One girl for you, but I don't."
"All you have been doing is remembering the good stuff you guys had. Next time you look back again...I think you should look again."
What the heck! What wise words!! I have always told my friends and myself that it's better to remember the good times and forget the bad, especially in terms of an ended relationship. I failed to realise that during recuperation stage (hahaha), it's a zillion times to break down the dreadful walls of self-pity IF I only replay the happy times again and again. It makes it so much tougher to let go, and makes me wonder again and again why I failed to save it. It also makes me feel so much more guilt than I deserve, and gives the other party (she) all the benefits of doubt. It makes me blind to the simple possibility that...perhaps, just perhaps, I was undeservedly played for a fool.

After Summer got married, and Tom was picking up his life again looking for a job as an architect (what he always wanted to be), they met again. The following conversation reflects quite some on Summer's character, and reminds me much of ...
(paraphrase)

"Summer, you should have told me about him...when we were at the wedding party."
"Yeah. But he hasn't asked me yet."
"But he was already in your life."
"Yes he was."
"Then why did you dance with me?"
"Because...I wanted to."
"You just do what you want, don't you?"
Sigh.

Then Tom asked Summer:
"You never wanted to be anybody's girlfriend, but now you are somebody's wife. I don't understand."
"It just happened."
"What just happened?"
"It just happened...I woke up one morning and I was sure of it."
"What were you sure of?"
"What I never was sure of when I was with you."

So was Tom's ordeal just ...meeting the wrong person at the wrong time?
Was that my case too?

Whatever~
The ending was hopeful for Tom, and I am sure that it will be for me too!
Coincidentally, I am leaving Davis in Autumn =). Hehehe..those who have watched the movie may understand my pun here.