Insomnia...?

Large red numbers in the dark. A terrible reminder.

 For the first time in my life, I am having insomnia.

It's not serious yet, I don't think.

I just can't sleep, regardless of what I try to do, until 3 or 4am.

I would just be turning around in bed.

My mind can be blank.

My body can feel tired.

But I can't sleep.

Of course I haven't tried pills, and I won't.

Very weird lah. I mean...I didn't have insomnia when I was to take my Qualifying Exam, arguably the most nerve-cracking experience I had in the past few years. In fact I slept quite well the night before my QE.

So why now? It's been going on for at least a week now.

I don't feel stressed.

I have many many thoughts buzzing through my mind of course, but that's the norm. So that can't be it.

Perhaps it's because I am getting close to the end of my Ph.D. life, and too many uncertainties lie ahead? But I can only see light and fun ahead...no reason to be anxious.

Hmm....

On the bright side, one night I lasted through the whole night without sleeping, and I decided to walk for to snap a pic of sunrise. There is an overhead bridge across the highway just 3 minutes walk from my apartment that should give me a good scene of sunrise over the highway. I almost went...then I remembered that the direction ain't correct. The highway runs North-South. Nah...wouldn't have been a great picture...so I crawled under the covers and looked at the bright red numbers again...going 5:XX....