Of late, I seemed to have been lecturing more than usual. No, not lecturing in class to a room of sleepy or bored-to-death students, but to my friends who asked me for my opinion(s). They asked me about decisions, about courage, about facing the uncertainty of the future.
Of course, I'm not an expert in decision-making, courage-building or future telling. For these you will need to consult a housewife, the 80-year old man who did a bungee-jump, and the countless websites on 'the end of the world', respectively.
I'm however, quite proficient in talking about things I have scant ideas about, and convincing others to take me seriously for it. At the very least, they often get a laugh out of it at the end. So here goes, my take on decision-making, courage-building and facing the volatile future.
The laughing doesn't have to wait till the end. You can start laughing, now.
Decisions. We have to make decisions every day, in fact every moment. Most decisions are trivial, e.g., what to have for lunch ( a question I'm pondering now), that don't bother most people. Some decisions however, are very non-trivial and threaten to crumble your walls of sanity if you seemingly make the wrong decision. For example, quitting a job, having a baby, kissing your boss, to go or to stay, to be or not to be...etc. I apologize if my list of examples is as exciting as a stack of white paper in a big white house, but I myself cannot recall having had any tough decisions or having ever worried about a wrong decision. My close friend called me a boaster, so now I am permitted to make the following claim.
I have never made a wrong decision. Not a single one.
I have also never made a correct decision. Not a single one.
I have however, made countless decisions big and small, and I do not label them as correct or wrong. I cannot , for I lack the ability to do so. Tried as hard as I did, I could not come up with satisfactory standards to evaluate decisions on moral grounds (in this case, 'correct' and 'wrong' are morally based adjectives, no?) Should I treat decisions as a continuum of correct to wrong, or is it a distinct binary? What's the temporal frame for such evaluations, and to what extent? A disaster today may prove to be a blessing 10 years later, what's great for a family may be nasty for a community. It became too challenging to make decisions if I am concerned with trying to be 'correct'. More importantly, it's just not worth my effort.
Instead, I simply make the decision**, and then life begins. For it is what I do about a decision that matters, not the decision itself. The decision is but a given starting condition with suggestions on how to proceed with the journey; it is not the journey itself, and it certainly does not dictate the course of the journey. If the decision is a bicycle, I can cycle to the park and enjoy myself some butterflies (if I like butterflies) or I can push the bike along a creek to find a shade and read a book--I would leave traveling across the sea for another day, when decision is a boat or a plane.
Nothing real is perfect, and there are always trade-offs. By recognizing both ends of the trade-off, by working on reaping the most out of the positive end, my decision comes as close to perfection as I can imagine. Don't waste life away on regrets and scenarios of 'what if's...unless you can turn back time, you cannot undo any decision (the 'undo' function in computer programs is as close as you could get) and the consequences of alternatives are forever lost to you. Just make a decision, and make the best out of it. In any case, you can congratulate yourself on having made a decision--something many of us are stuck on!
Arh~I fear that I have written too much already. I shall leave my nonsense on courage and the volatile future for...the future. Understanding how uncertain things can be, put your bets on that I won't bother to write about those.
**: a bit on my actual insignificant step of making a decision. I usually ask myself what I wish to achieve, then I list down the options and analyze them rationally. I pick the one that brings me closest to my goal and creates the least inconveniences to others. This is how I make most of my trivial decisions (hence I rarely buy an ice-cream spontaneously :( ). Most of my major decisions however, including where/what to study/work, to start a new relationship or to hang on to a dying one, all these I followed my heart's desire instead of paying much heed to my rationale. So far, life's been great to me.
Of course, I'm not an expert in decision-making, courage-building or future telling. For these you will need to consult a housewife, the 80-year old man who did a bungee-jump, and the countless websites on 'the end of the world', respectively.
I'm however, quite proficient in talking about things I have scant ideas about, and convincing others to take me seriously for it. At the very least, they often get a laugh out of it at the end. So here goes, my take on decision-making, courage-building and facing the volatile future.
The laughing doesn't have to wait till the end. You can start laughing, now.
Decisions. We have to make decisions every day, in fact every moment. Most decisions are trivial, e.g., what to have for lunch ( a question I'm pondering now), that don't bother most people. Some decisions however, are very non-trivial and threaten to crumble your walls of sanity if you seemingly make the wrong decision. For example, quitting a job, having a baby, kissing your boss, to go or to stay, to be or not to be...etc. I apologize if my list of examples is as exciting as a stack of white paper in a big white house, but I myself cannot recall having had any tough decisions or having ever worried about a wrong decision. My close friend called me a boaster, so now I am permitted to make the following claim.
I have never made a wrong decision. Not a single one.
I have also never made a correct decision. Not a single one.
I have however, made countless decisions big and small, and I do not label them as correct or wrong. I cannot , for I lack the ability to do so. Tried as hard as I did, I could not come up with satisfactory standards to evaluate decisions on moral grounds (in this case, 'correct' and 'wrong' are morally based adjectives, no?) Should I treat decisions as a continuum of correct to wrong, or is it a distinct binary? What's the temporal frame for such evaluations, and to what extent? A disaster today may prove to be a blessing 10 years later, what's great for a family may be nasty for a community. It became too challenging to make decisions if I am concerned with trying to be 'correct'. More importantly, it's just not worth my effort.
Instead, I simply make the decision**, and then life begins. For it is what I do about a decision that matters, not the decision itself. The decision is but a given starting condition with suggestions on how to proceed with the journey; it is not the journey itself, and it certainly does not dictate the course of the journey. If the decision is a bicycle, I can cycle to the park and enjoy myself some butterflies (if I like butterflies) or I can push the bike along a creek to find a shade and read a book--I would leave traveling across the sea for another day, when decision is a boat or a plane.
Nothing real is perfect, and there are always trade-offs. By recognizing both ends of the trade-off, by working on reaping the most out of the positive end, my decision comes as close to perfection as I can imagine. Don't waste life away on regrets and scenarios of 'what if's...unless you can turn back time, you cannot undo any decision (the 'undo' function in computer programs is as close as you could get) and the consequences of alternatives are forever lost to you. Just make a decision, and make the best out of it. In any case, you can congratulate yourself on having made a decision--something many of us are stuck on!
Arh~I fear that I have written too much already. I shall leave my nonsense on courage and the volatile future for...the future. Understanding how uncertain things can be, put your bets on that I won't bother to write about those.
**: a bit on my actual insignificant step of making a decision. I usually ask myself what I wish to achieve, then I list down the options and analyze them rationally. I pick the one that brings me closest to my goal and creates the least inconveniences to others. This is how I make most of my trivial decisions (hence I rarely buy an ice-cream spontaneously :( ). Most of my major decisions however, including where/what to study/work, to start a new relationship or to hang on to a dying one, all these I followed my heart's desire instead of paying much heed to my rationale. So far, life's been great to me.
No wonder your ice cream choices aren't that great :P
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